The Chaos Wins LARD XIII

Venue: The Wheatsheaf, Borough
Date: 16 02 2013
Dress: Cockney Geezers

Men of Yore,

I bid you a fair morrow and congratulate The Chaos for a whirlwind victory in our very own World Championships of Darts – LARD XIII. 2 legs down in the final, he took the rum better than everyone to stage a thrilling comeback to win 3-2. Whilst the existing trophies undergo refurbishment he collects a new trophy, the Pat Butcher Pirate Shitting Trophy or PBPST - http://lard.snapsofme.com/13-02-LARD/IMAG1060.jpg

I can also commend everyone who attended for providing some of the finest darts we have seen. 16 full matches played within 3.5 hours can honestly be said to be “OK darts”, the standard we have long strived to achieve. A couple of mad house finishes but plenty of tons in there too.

This year’s Jocky was hard fought too as render levels were high but not dangerously so. The award however goes to a consistent winner – The Rage. Notable points:
1. Running out to Sainsbury’s half way through to buy a pack of lard
2. Inviting everyone back to his for a party afterwards – 4:30am finish I hear

Also, the updated rankings - http://www.lardydarts.com/rankings.aspx. With his win Andy jumps into the top 5 closely followed by Bungle whilst some notable Champs drop out of the top 10 (Frankendart, Quick draw, Galactico).

Will we see their return or will be see some old players perform a phoenix like rise and grace us with their presence (email me if you really don’t want to hear from us again, I won’t be offended).

It is time to hand the mantle to The Heatseeker to arrange the UK’s only inconsistently held outdoor darts tournament – The Bermuda Classic.

Al Fresco

The Rage Gets The Most Rendered and Wins The Jocky Award

Results

1:1 Matchups during LARD XIII

Quarter finals - The Heatseeker bt The Duke
Quarter finals - The Hero bt Nothing Special
Quarter finals - The Chaos bt El 8 Ball
Quarter finals - Bungle bt Be My Valentine
Semi Finals - The Hero bt The Heatseeker
Semi Finals - The Chaos bt Bungle
Final - The Chaos bt The Hero
First Round - The Duke bt Be My Valentine
First Round - Be My Valentine bt The Heatseeker
First Round - The Heatseeker bt The Duke
First Round - Nothing Special bt El 8 Ball
First Round - Nothing Special bt Bungle
First Round - El 8 Ball bt Bungle
First Round - The Chaos bt The Rage
First Round - The Hero bt The Rage
First Round - The Chaos bt The Hero

Group Matchups during LARD XIII

Player with ✔ progressed into the next round (only corresponds to group games)

Group Round 1 - Cockels: The Chaos ✔
Group Round 1 - Cockels: The Hero ✔
Group Round 1 - Cockels: The Rage
Group Round 1 - Eels: The Duke ✔
Group Round 1 - Eels: Be My Valentine ✔
Group Round 1 - Eels: The Heatseeker
Group Round 1 - Knees up Mother Brown: The Heatseeker ✔
Group Round 1 - Knees up Mother Brown: Bungle ✔
Group Round 1 - Knees up Mother Brown: The Rage
Group Round 1 - Mussels: El 8 Ball ✔
Group Round 1 - Mussels: Nothing Special ✔
Group Round 1 - Mussels: Bungle

Players and Points