The Chaos Wins Dulwich Area Masters 2019

Venue: Old China Hand, Clerkenwell
Date: 07 06 2019
Dress: Hipsters v Despots

DAM 2018/19 - The best final ever?

Echoing shades of England's fortuitous WC 2019 win and Edgbaston 2019, the people's tournament 2019 final may go down in the annals as the best four-man head to head match DAM had ever seen. Possibly in the whole of darts too?

5 hours earlier, however, a different scene was unfolding as the sleeping giants of the game blew two years worth of dust from their quivers and gathered themselves for the reckoning that was Dam 2019, hipsters v despots. Before The Power's retirement he had been accused of being slow, overweight and lazy and the assembled cast showed nothing to dispell the pundits' similar theories about today's matches. But we know there is a difference between an 18 time champion past his prime and pub-based fancy dress darts - RUM - it energises, enthuses and turns mere mortals into gods. Despite this, few would have dared to predict the drama about to unfurl.

Darts Innovation or the end of the world?

As we all know Darts never stands still and innovation is rife, consider the aluminium shaft, the rotating flight or even the knurled grip - I rest my case. The Trident, DAM's organisers, had been promised the dawn of a new era, the birth of LISA (Lardydarts Integrated Scoring Assistant) Lardydarts' answer to the Silicon Valley behemoth Amazon's artificial intelligence (AI) assistant Alexa but with a mind a zillion times more powerful - Carol Vorderman and Stephen Hawking's lovechild.

But with changes to the working environment of the lead engineer and unable to muster the same level of engineering resources afforded to a FAANG, her birth was aborted - for now. The start of the end of the world was to be delayed.

Never fear, with minds not yet showing signs of dementia, scoring was in safe hands.

How it unfolded

The usual suspects arrived; Bungle, Splash, The Hero, The Heatseeker, The Matador, Limey and The Walrus. Various good, bad and non-existent outfits were worn but the immediate chat amongst the bookies was who would win? With over 14 majors between a few of them, this could be over very quickly. With the obvious oche time guaranteed the smart money was sure to be placed on a seasoned professional, one able to last the co

na Gets The Most Rendered and Wins The Jocky Award

Results

Group Matchups during Dulwich Area Masters 2019

Player with ✔ progressed into the next round (only corresponds to group games)

Group Round 1 - Playoff: Splash ✔
Group Round 1 - Playoff: The Walrus ✔
Group Round 1 - Playoff: Bungle
Group Round 1 - Sinclair C5: The Matador ✔
Group Round 1 - Sinclair C5: The Hero ✔
Group Round 1 - Sinclair C5: Bungle
Group Round 1 - WMD: The Heatseeker ✔
Group Round 1 - WMD: The Chaos ✔
Group Round 1 - WMD: Splash
Group Round 1 - WMD: The Walrus
Group Semi - Genocide: The Heatseeker ✔
Group Semi - Genocide: The Chaos ✔
Group Semi - Genocide: Splash
Group Semi - Shell suit: The Matador ✔
Group Semi - Shell suit: The Hero ✔
Group Semi - Shell suit: The Walrus
Group Final - Arrrrgggg: The Chaos ✔
Group Final - Arrrrgggg: The Heatseeker
Group Final - Arrrrgggg: The Matador
Group Final - Arrrrgggg: The Hero

Players and Points

The Chaos - 9 pts
The Heatseeker - 6 pts
The Matador - 6 pts
The Hero - 6 pts
Splash - 4 pts
The Walrus - 4 pts
Bungle - 2 pts